Embrace Imbalance: The Quest for Fulfillment
Written by: Arman Momeni
Daedalus, imprisoned with his son, Icarus, on the island of Crete, yearns for escape. With his entrepreneurial spirit, he studies the island's pigeons, learning the intricate art of flight. After rigorous trial and error, failure after failure, Daedalus' craftsmanship manifests into two sets of wings: one for himself and one for Icarus. "Icarus, my boy," says Daedalus, "be careful. Do not fly too close to the sun; your wings will melt. And do not sink too low, for your feathers will get waterlogged." "Do not fret, father," Icarus responds arrogantly. Enthralled with the thrill of flight, Icarus neglects the balance advised by his father, soaring higher and higher. As his father warned, however, the sun melts his wings, catalyzing the fall to his inevitable death.
Millennia later, Icarus' story serves as a reminder of the importance of balance: a balanced diet, work-life balance, financial balance, and most importantly, balance in one's identity. Daedalus instructs Icarus to fly directly between the sun and the sea; however, his definition of balance is flawed. While striving for personal balance, a sense of equilibrium between various branches of our identity, is commendable, an equally partitioned balance should not be aspired. For example, a gay teen who attempts to equate their social identity with the strict religious ideals imposed by their family will ultimately be unhappy. During a pandemic, a government that allocates equal effort to waste collection as they do to adequate healthcare services will fail in combating the virus.
While it is essential to strike a balance amongst various aspects of our identity, particular elements must become dominant and rise to the foreground, defining us at a given moment. Balance is not holding equal parts of our identity; it is recognizing and emphasizing particular parts at specific times. Breaking the equilibrium and embracing imbalance to prioritize aspects of our identity will allow us to live a more fulfilling life by attaining solace, discovering our purpose, and positively contributing to society.
Many individuals, like Naz Deravian and myself, have been in an everlasting state of discomfort because of imbalance. In "Last Meal in Iran," an essay by Naz Deravian, she faces much the same struggles as I do. Deravian tells the story of confronting her unclear cultural identity, which arose after she immigrated from Iran to Vancouver. Deravian envies a split menu she encounters at a restaurant, containing "Persian food and all the trimmings on one side, and North American fare on the other. [The] menu [that tells the] story of navigating life caught in the 'in between' better than [she] could, flawlessly code-switching from clubhouse sandwiches … to dinner of kabob koobideh" (Deravian). Deravian wants to embrace her Canadian culture, but refuses to abandon any trace of her Iranian side. However, the equilibrium she desires is not heaven, rather, purgatory – a life where she will constantly struggle to pick a side, unable to define herself.
Towards the end of the text, Deravian finally embodies the equilibrium, placing equal parts of her culture on both sides of the scale, finally in a state where she is comfortable with who she is. However, like all entities, Deravian's scale is a victim of the universe's entropy, tending towards disorder. She overhears her "parents discussing a possible relocation" (Deravian), and all of a sudden, the symmetry breaks; her scale begins to sway. "The ground beneath [her] [rumbles] … and [her] face [flushes]" (Deravian). While we can try to juggle our identities into a manipulated balance, the outcome of our efforts is temporary. The only way to subside the universe's entropy and hold a more permanent definition of who we are, is to place ourselves behind the wheel and become the author of our story; we must emphasize what is relevant and what is important. By tipping the scale ourselves, we embrace disorder. What is already imbalanced becomes immune to the chaos of life, ultimately leading us to a continual, stable state. While Deravian never ends up moving, she travels to Prospect Point for a moment of reflection, taking "one last look across the inlet and beyond the North Shore Mountains" (Deravian). While she still maintains her Iranian roots, Deravian’s reflection at Prospect Point shows her that she cannot allow the cultural duality to diminish her identity. Calibrating the scale, she tips it to the Canadian side, embraces where she is in the moment, and propels it to the foreground of her identity. She is in Canada; "[she is] home" (Deravian). Establishing her home at Prospect Point is pivotal for Deravian's identity. Deravian is finally at rest, filled with a sanguine wave of relief; the internal war she has battled from age 10 finally dissipates.
Finding peace with our identity marks a noteworthy beginning on the path to fulfillment. However, can we truly be at peace with who we are if we are uncertain of our purpose? In the name of balance, our selfhood becomes nothing more than a homogenization. While each constituent identity may hold a purpose, our many identities fall into an inevitable tug of war; each purpose pulls with resilience in hopes of a unified tapestry. In the dynamic tug of war, it becomes impossible for one dominant purpose to shine through, leaving us with a sense of dissatisfaction.
In Gretta Gerwig's 2023 film Barbie, the film's main character, Stereotypical Barbie, lives in a picturesque world, Barbieland. She is the stereotypical embodiment of the perfect woman: socially impactful, popular, successful, and lively. However, all aspects of her life equally intertwine, inciting redundancy; every day is the same, and her life does not progress or improve. One ordinary morning, Barbie suddenly breaks free from the trance of Barbieland and notices her flaws: cellulite, bad breath, and flat feet. Without the perfection – the balance that defined her – Barbie begins to question her role in society, falling into an existential crisis, a state of disarray. Barbie embarks on a mission, leaving Barbieland and entering the real world to learn "the truth about the universe" (Barbie 00:22:48) and find her purpose. Like Barbie, we may feel that we do not have a destiny. While existential angst is a catalyst for inner turmoil, we can all rest assured, knowing that we are burdened with a glorious purpose.
In the real world, Barbie tranquilly sits on a park bench, examining all of life's highs and lows: a couple on the verge of a breakup, kids playing in the grass, and friends sitting and sharing a laugh with each other. She looks at an old woman next to her, filled with wrinkles and cellulite – what society would label as imperfect. In a world where women are told their beauty has an expiration date, Barbie breaks the boundary, telling the old woman what is true, that "[she is] beautiful" (01:05:14). The lady responds to Barbie with a smile, telling her she "[knows] it" (01:05:54). Seeing the woman's confident reaction, Barbie realizes that she does not have to balance the many standards of the perfect woman; it is entirely acceptable and beautiful to be imperfect. Barbie breaks her previous, "perfect" mold, welcomes the imbalance, and realizes that her imperfections make her who she is. She takes the imperfections and drives them to the fore. Barbie realizes that balance isn't what makes her perfect; it’s her humanity, her imbalanced, disoriented flaws. Barbie allows the imbalance to define her, opening the path to her purpose: to be human, to live.
As humans, we are one step ahead of Barbie, a doll; we know that we are destined to live. However, we must learn to let go of the desire for balance, the desire to have everything under control and be perfect. We must have the strength to cut the ropes, break the tapestry, and make a choice about our identity; only then can we unleash our purpose.
In conclusion, Icarus' story has long served as a metaphor for balance, the dangers of going above and below a stable middle ground. However, through analyzing Naz Deravian's immigration story in "Last Meal in Iran," Gretta Gerwig's hypercritical social commentary in Barbie, and my own fight against oppression, I have found that striving for an equilibrium is not balance, nor the key to living a fulfilling life.
Nothing about our identity is certain or set in stone. We are not a static equilibrium but fluid, evolving beings. If we spend too long confined by the complexity of our narratives, we will ultimately live an unfulfilling life, a life filled with regret, knowing that we were trapped in the past because we were too scared to face an imperfect, unbalanced present. It is arrogant to say that true fulfillment cannot be achieved by maintaining an equal balance, but, it is true that many of us cannot sustain a symmetrical scale. True fulfillment can be achieved by redefining balance as an understanding of what is important in our life. We must use the momentum from the shifting, imbalanced scale to propel ourselves forward; then, we can find peace in who we are, understand our purpose, and make a positive mark on the world. Humans have one ending, but our ideas live forever; we cannot let the intimidating notion of imbalance impede our opportunity to be something everlasting.
Works Cited
Deravian, Naz. “A Persian-Canadian Food Writer Remembers Her Last Meal in Iran – And Her First Bite Of The West”. Montecristo Magazine. 10 Jul. 2020. https://montecristomagazine.com/essay/persian-canadian-food-writer-remembers-last-meal-iran-first-bites-west
Barbie. Directed by Greta Gerwig, Warner Bros. Pictures, 2023.
